Thursday, July 17, 2014

Twain and Jungle Cruise, June 1960

Here's a pretty picture of the Mark Twain, full of passengers, in the summer of 1960. Every one of those guests is a riverboat gambler. Don't fall for their slick manners, fancy clothes, and stories about dining with the Queen of India. It's all a bunch of malarky. MALARKY! Sorry, I get emotional.

For just $5000 a night, you can stay in that tiny shack. There are no amenities, and you'll have to find your own way over there (may I suggest an inflatable dingy?), and the jungle noises will drive you mad. Not to mention the dengue fever, leaches, and swarms of ravenous insects.


Nanook said...


I believe the 'mere wearing' of a full-fledged babushka, will ward-off all leaches, swarms of ravenous insects, and yes, even dengue fever-!

Tie those knots, ladies, and prepare for an exciting journey.

Thanks, Major.

Alonzo P Hawk said...

The nights stay in the shack is actually free. But you would have to drink about $5,000 worth (at Disney prices)of soda, string the empty pop bottles together and use that as a raft to reach the shack. The only plus is that the burps from that much sody acts as a natural skeeter repellant.

Happy 59th birthday to the original Magic Kingdom.

K. Martinez said...

Oh, look! Seat cushions. Something the Jungle Cruise boats used to have.

Happy 59th, Disneyland!

JG said...

@K Martinez, only the yellow cushions float.

Once we got to sit at the front of the Mark Twain on the chairs, good times.


Major Pepperidge said...

Nanook, that lady's babushka is like the towels in "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", they are the most useful of accoutrements.

Alonzo, $5000 worth of soda?? How on earth am I supposed to drink 10 sodas? (Ha ha, see what I did there?). And thank you for pointing out Disneyland's birthday, which I always forget.

K. Martinez, now guests bring their own padding, if you know what I mean.

JG, I really should ride the Twain from the lower level - as a rule I like the elevated views from levels 2 and 3. But I can try it at least once!

Melissa said...

Holy LINED babushka! You'd have to walk all the way from Minsk to Pinsk and back these days to get a babushka like that!

Melissa said...

If I'm riding a dingy over there, won;t that keep me from getting that dingy fever?

Melissa said...

Every one of those guests is a riverboat gambler.

Well, as my Pappy used to say, it would be a pitiful thing if I ever tried to work for a living. "Son," he said, "Use your wits, 'cause the Lord didn't give you brains." You see, when you're playing in a game with men as good as you are, poker is no long a game of skill - you're gambling. Yep, work is fine for killin' time, but it's a shaky way to make a living. It's like my old Pappy used to say: "'Early to bed and early to rise’ is the curse of the working class. Son, hard work never hurt anyone - who didn't do it."

When a man's dealin' cards to me - I watch his hands pretty close. You never play in a rigged game, unless you rig it yourself. It's like my old Pappy used to say: "You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, and those aren't bad odds!" So, Pappy left us a thousand dollar bill apiece and some very profound words of wisdom: "Never hold a kicker and never draw to an inside straight."

Well, it's been a real education losing to you. Four kings and each one of 'em marked with this. Here, see for yourself. You can feel the impression. Hell hath no fury like a man who loses with four of a kind. As my old pappy used to say, "There's only two times in a man's life when he should be noble: when he's caught dealing seconds, and when somebody slaps a lady. And Man is the only animal you can skin more than once."

Alonzo P Hawk said...


Noooooo here I go again!

Who is the tall, dark stranger there?
Maverick is the name.
Ridin' the trail to who knows where,
Luck is his companion,
Gamblin' is his game.
Smooth as the handle on a gun.
Maverick is the name.
Wild as the wind in Oregon,
Blowin' up a canyon,
Easier to tame.

Quick, where is my medecine and Tapioca.

Nanook said...

@ Alonzo P Hawk-

Once again I say: Annette - Cómo está usted-? You'll need no tapioca or medicine - patent, or otherwise.

Alonzo P Hawk said...


Bueno, fine. Ariba! That worked well, and I chased it down with a little Monkey's Uncle (whoa whoa), Monkey's Uncle (yah yah).

Chuck said...

...and I have a new mental soundtrack for the evening...

Riverboat ring your bell!
Fare thee well, Annabelle!
Luck is the lady that he loves the best.
Natchez to New Orleans,
Livin' on jacks and queens,
Maverick is a legend of the West.

Forgot to get DL a birthday card...

Nanook said...

@ Alonzo P Hawk/Chuck-

And now it's time for Cheyenne...

Cheyenne, Cheyenne where will you be camping tonight?
Loney man, Cheyenne, will your heart stay free and light?
Dream Cheyenne of a girl you may never love
Move along, Cheyenne like the restless cloud up above.

The wind that blows, that comes and goes, has been your only home.
But will the wild wind one day cease and you'll no longer roam.

Move along, Cheyenne the next pasture's always so green.
Driftin' on, Cheyenne don't forget the things you have seen,
And when you settle down where will it be Cheyenne. Cheyenne!

You're welcome.

Major Pepperidge said...

Melissa, is it lined so that her handwriting will be straight? HAR DE HAR HAR!

Melissa #2, if you ask me, you already have dingy fever! (This is meant to be gentle teasing and not mean).

Melissa #3, this is very inspiring, and completely baffling to me! WHU?

Alonzo P Hawk, now I know the words, but I don't know the tune. And it doesn't work to the tune of "Bonanza".

Nanook, Alonzo, Chuck, and Nanook again, I feel like I've walked into a party and have no idea what anybody is talking about!

Melissa said...

Sorry, Major! My little speech was cobbled together out of quotes from the 1957-63 TV series "Maverick," about two brothers who were gamblers in the Old West. Alonzo and Chuck were quoting from its catchy theme song.

@Nanook, did you ever see the "Hadley's Hunters" episode of "Maverick" where Cheyenne and other stars of other Warner Brothers western made cameos?