Thursday, June 26, 2014

You-Know-What, August 1960

I guess you can't blame photographers for wanting a picture of the Matterhorn. Where else are you going to see a thing like that? I mean besides Switzerland? And this one has a ride in and around it too, unlike that boring real mountain. 

It also has a basketball half court, a jacuzzi, a dirigible hangar, a sno-cone machine, a small theater that only shows movies about mountain climbing, a beauty salon, and a missile silo.


Nanook said...


In addition to all the "features" you pointed out, you failed to mention the doughnut maker and the chocolate enrober. After all, Hans and Franz (uh... make that Hans and Otto) have developed quite the sweet tooth scaling "Mt. Cervino" time and time again.

Thanks, Major.

Nancy said...

Where's the LIKE button!?! You would never have to leave the mountain if is has a restroom, too! :-)

Melissa said...

The Matterhorn: It's the Horn that Matters

Matterhorn1959 said...

You forgot the tanning salon.

Alonzo P Hawk said...

I heard that the mountain climber union (on behalf of hans and franz) is demanding they put in a Subway. They have one just about everywhere else. Eat Fresh.

Anonymous said...

Sure, Hans and Franz (who is this Otto you speak of??) got all the glory with their exploits, but who was dutifully scaring the guests with a hearty growl for every bobsled?

Harold the Abominable Snowman.

Bill in Denver

Anonymous said...

The Swiss Mountain, aka "Mt. Nostril".

Simply everything you need in a mountain, and so much more.


Tom said...

I can see where the other features might fit in, but a basketball court? Inside the mountain? Come on. Who's going to believe that?

Alonzo P Hawk said...

Several photos of said basketball court.

Alonzo P Hawk said...

The sandwich of the day at the Matterhorn Subway is the Sweet Onion Chicken Schnitzengruben.

It the favorite of Lili Von Shtupp.

Major Pepperidge said...

Nanook, in truth there were too many amenities to list here. I't's a pretty sweet setup!

Nancy, it has a "mountain fresh" bathroom.

Melissa, you and Chiana (remember Chiana?) think alike!

Matterhorn1959, don't they get tan enough in the high altitude sun? On the other hand, they do like a "San Tropez" tan, if you know what I mean.

Alonzo, a Subway? I think that the boys can do better. Though I admit I do go to Subway every once in a while.

Bill in Denver, Dana Carvey and Kevin Nealon might have taken up mountain climbing, you never know.

Tom, don't forget, it's only a half court!

Alonzo, fifteen is my limit on schnitzengruben.

Melissa said...

Legend has it that deep inside the Matterhorn is also where one may find the secret lair of the handsome but evil Count von Disneystein.

Snow White Archive said...

The sno-cones are free too...but sadly, only for cast members.

$9.75 each for guests.