Monday, July 03, 2017

Strollers: The Reckoning

Disneyland is for families, and that means little kids - tiny critters who don't have much stamina when it comes to walking. And that's why I invented the stroller! That's right, it was me. I've made a nice chunk of change, let me tell you. Today's photos warm my heart, as you might imagine.

Today we have three portraits of a pair of young mothers as they casually posed in front of Sleeping Beauty Castle. We can send these to Grandma and Grandpa, maybe. I like the way we can see that smidgen of Fantasyland through the arch.

Notice that these ladies have spared no expense and are using one of my Excelsior Dual strollers! I'm thinking about designing even LARGER versions, in a variety of configurations. Someday perhaps even perfectly fit adults will use my conveyances.

Well, I think we've got the best one so far. Looks like the lady in red is expecting another bundle of joy soon enough, and that means more money for ME. Meanwhile, the kid to the left is having a swell time, while the blonde kid is upset that he is missing "The Flintstones" and "Crusader Rabbit".


Nanook said...


Oh - so you're the one we get to "thank" for the proliferation of strollers the size of 'land yachts'-?? Well, I certainly hope you're happy counting all your millions while the rest of us hunker-down trying to both maneuver-around the barely-moving wall of them and then not trip over the gigantic 'parking lots' for those beasts.

On the other hand, Sleeping Beauty Castle never looked lovelier - especially sitting in front of that sky, with just the right amount of clouds.

Thanks, Major.

K. Martinez said...

Beautiful castle! Just needs more pink. Also, some gold trim and big silver blue diamonds. Did I mention it needs to be more pink?

Thanks, Major.

TokyoMagic! said...

Did those beads on the front strollers REALLY keep kids entertained while they were being pushed around?

Major, you should design a stroller in the shape of the House of the Future. It could hold 4 kids at one time. And make it spin!

Scott Lane said...

I think TM is onto something there.

Unknown said...

Well they appear to have "double-wides" back in the day. Nice Castle pics, no matter.

DrGoat said...

I still bear the scars from a run-in with a mega stroller on our visit in 2010. And a spinning house of the future with rugrats on board makes the mind boggle. By the way, that kid in black looks like a young Gomez Adams, contemplating some mischief.

Chuck said...

A confession - I am guilty of operating a baby SUV in a Disney Park. And another frank admission - it sucked.

For every frustrated guest trying to worm their way past a gaggle of gigastrollers, there's a frustrated baby-bus driver trying to avoid running down other guests as they randomly stop and rapidly change direction without using brake lights or turn signals.

It was a pain to break down and stow the stroller when climbing aboard the Monorail or the train, and even worse when boarding the motor launch to and from our campground (no bonus points for figuring out which Disney property we're talking about).

Coming out of an attraction to find your stroller has been moved by harried cast members trying to corral all wheeled vehicles into vaguely-defined, constantly-expanding-and-contracting can send you into a momentary panic.

We had another moment of panic when we came out of Casey's Corner (again, no bonus points) with lunch only to find that the Eddie Bauer double stroller/bassinet/urban assault vehicle my wife had picked up for a song in a miracle find at a consignment store had been picked clean of all of our belongings - cameras, toys, even the diaper bag! Then I looked around and noticed an identical-looking Eddie Bauer stroller about 10 feet away with all of our stuff in it. I have no idea why anyone would move all of our stuff from our stroller to theirs, but we got even by taking their stroller with all of our stuff in it. Revenge is sweet.

We eventually got tired of constantly breaking down the superstroller to board transportation vehicles and realized we didn't really need all of the junk we were carrying around (seriously - did we need four cameras?), but we still had a 6-month-old human and his 2.97-year-old-but-still-free-admission-qualified brother that we didn't want to carry everywhere. We decided instead to rent a double stroller, a plastic descendant of the one pictured in today's photos.

While a good idea on paper, crowd density has changed a lot since today's photos were taken, and it was actually harder to negotiate crowds with a double-wide in comparison to our longer and taller Eddie Bauer with in-line seating.

Finally, on the last day of our vacation, we ended up renting two single strollers and finally had the mobility we'd been craving since Day One. I have fond memories of us zig-zagging between families that insisted on walking six abreast at two miles per hour, reveling in our new-found mobility, grinning insanely at the incredible speeds we were traveling and not minding the smashed bugs in our teeth.

Anonymous said...

@Chuck, cool story.

We negotiated Disneyland with a single stroller once. That was enough. All that you say is true.

I guess it won't be long before my kids will be wheeling me around. The CM's are really helpful to guests walking with canes, so keep that in mind as you get older.

It's nice to see SBC relatively uncrowded. One of the excellent cinematic effects of the park is the slow revealing of layers of interesting things as you approach. For the most part, this notion remains, although the views have changed somewhat.

Thanks, Major.


Major Pepperidge said...

Nanook, I feel uncomfortable wearing the mantle of “hero”, but sometimes that’s just what is called for. When I think of all the lives I’ve improved with my progressively bigger and bigger strollers, I get a tear in my eye.

K. Martinez, if it’s going to be pink, it might as well be HOT PINK.

TokyoMagic!, the beads are a simple form of abacus, aiding in the calculation of gratuities and taxes. I have already designed a prototype stroller in the shape of an uncomfortable Matterhorn Bobsled.

Scott Lane, I think TM is ON something.

Patrick Devlin, my mom had two kids, just 18 months apart, I suppose she could have used one of those double-wides back in the day. I don’t think she had one though.

DrGoat, ha ha, now I can’t see the kid with the black hair without imagining a tiny mustache as well.

Chuck, I can only imagine how much of a pain it must be to not only push the stroller around the park all day, but to find a place to park it during waits in queues. Restaurants must be fun too, since they don’t have room for them. I’ve always wondered about the strollers full of stuff, left unattended - there’s an awful lot of faith in the goodness of fellow Disneyland visitors. Instead of an Eddie Bauer stroller, you should have purchased a Porsche stroller. 600 horsepower!

JG, for the most part I have been impressed with Disneyland cast members, though there’s always the bad apple here and there. The rebel! The loner! I’m not going to use a wheelchair, I’m going to use a scooter so that I can run over people’s toes and not even apologize.

C said...

I see this in your future, Major.

Major Pepperidge said...

C, I can only DREAM of being one of the cool guys on a Segway.