Arguably, the most famous inhabitants of the Jungle Cruise are the hippos. They terrorize passing boats with gaping jaws, massive tusks, and wiggling ears. Their appearance is always punctuated with the loud bang of a gun firing real ammo (!). Those Disney folks won't settle for less.
Here's a picture of one of the hippos. They call this one "Old Nosey" because he is very curious about other people's business (I guess). Bullets just bounce off of his thick hide - they actually tickle. He will eat pieces of churros, or popcorn, or even a corn dog, so be sure to throw all of your food into the water the next time you see him. Old Nosey will thank you for it.
This next hippo is known as "Skinny", thanks to his diet of Slim-Fast milkshakes. They help keep his cravings in check until his next healthy meal. He usually stays away from the other hippos because he knows that they are so jealous of his figure.
I learned all about hippos from The Discovery Channel.
Normally, I just throw my used Christmas wrapping paper into the Jungle Cruise waters, but throwing food makes more sense.
ReplyDeleteWell played, sir. Well played.
ReplyDeleteI see that Hippos Don't Blog is at it again.
ReplyDeletePersonally I prefer to throw my empty paper beverage cups into the Jungle Cruise waters. Perhaps you've seen them floating around from time to time. Thanks, Major.
All I've ever thrown into the Jungle Cruise River is annoying little kids. Nobody seems to mind.
ReplyDelete(Strong candidate for Best Post Ever, Maj.)
I have heard, that if you have several Hippos as pets, that when you are not home, they will flood your house and greet you with just their nostrils and ears sticking out. Also, if there are more than ten Hippos in a neighborhood,
ReplyDeletethey will form clubs and stage rumbles for the amusement of all. Just a couple of things I learned about from reading the backs of sugary cereal boxes. I save 'em then ride the Jungle Cruise and pitch them into the river to the delight of all the animals. But I like Mellissa's idea better. Thanks Major for the scans.
One word Major LOL. I suspect rhinoplasty.
ReplyDeleteTokyoMagic!, ha ha, that Jingle Cruise really is an abomination. When they add Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to the ride, do you think they will put a Santa hat on his AA figure during the holidays? (Answer: definitely).
ReplyDeleteChuck, indubitably! ;-)
K. Martinez, the Disney folks actually encourage guests to throw garbage into the water! It seems crazy to me, but hey, they know what they’re doing.
Melissa, annoying little kids are our richest resource! There’s plenty where those come from.
Jonathan, sadly, I only have room for one hippo. I’m sure he gets lonely, but what can I do? The infinity pool can’t hold two of ‘em. So I put a mirror nearby. The darn thing fools him every time! Did you know that a group of hippos is called a “crash”, “bloat”, and several other colorful alternatives? With this information, you will probably be the next Jeopardy! champion.
Gnometrek, ha ha; I want a nose that looks like the later Michael Jackson nose. Sort of a “Phantom of the Opera” thing.
Too funny! And two funny. Either way it works!
ReplyDeleteThanks Major for you post today. Interesting fact... you can make that "Old Nosey" hippo squirt twice by studding the cam action on the rotating discs that operate the pneumatics for this piece of animation (1986 - 1993). Many a unsuspecting Jungle Cruise skipper got blasted with water... and so did their crew on occasion too.
Always your pal,
Amazon Belle
Major, I'm sure you are right about the "Santa hat" for Mr. Johnson. Heck, they might just splurge and buy him a full Santa suit. I can hardly wait. Actually, I can.
ReplyDeleteYeah...the 'squirter'. Could be before of after. Do you feel lucky? Do you?? KS
ReplyDeleteOf course, in Alabama the tusk are looser...
ReplyDeleteBrilliant work, folks!
ReplyDeleteMajor, this is amazing, clearly the best post on hippos I have ever seen.
ReplyDeleteI think that the second photo is reversed, however.
JG