Sunday, May 21, 2023

The Columbia, May 5 1980

As "Snoozer Sundays" go, this one isn't too bad, if I do say so myself. I have two 1980 photos of the Columbia as it blurped along the river. They're in focus and everything

At this point, they seem to have given up on sails altogether. Hey, those things are expensive, so I get it. Still, it looks a little weird to see a sailing ship moving with no visible means of propulsion. Is that wake caused by trained turtles? I don't want to say "yes", but I don't not want to say "yes" also.


We all know that in 2021 the Columbia was changed to "Darth Vader's Fun Ship", and it is way better now. Yes, it's basically the same, but now there's a college kid wearing a Darth Vader mask (and a t-shirt and shorts) yelling at the passengers. You can't understand what he's saying, it's all muffled, but trust me, it's scary. When he does that "pinching your throat" gesture... terrifying!


22 comments:

  1. Well, when you have trained turtles propelling the sailing ship, I guess one should expect it to "blurp" along the River. Of course, the wake could be caused by AEDs (Animatronic Exploding Ducks) going off at the stern. Sort of like nuclear bombs being used to propel a spaceship to the stars.

    These are nice views of the Columbia; interesting lighting, with the ship partly in shadow. It creates an unusual mood that we don't often see. Hmmm, there's a big silvery fish caught in the Columbia's shrouds in the second photo. But really, what is it? I don't see it in the first photo.

    Nope. Not a Snoozer Sunday this week. I expect we'll be going back to our regularly scheduled program next Sunday. Thanks, Major.

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  2. It looks like Pirates of the Caribbean is closed in that first pic. And we can see the windows of a Frontierland ticket booth, in the second pic. The Tom Sawyer Island rafts might be closing. I think we can see two red-shirted employees on the raft, but no customers. It does look like it might be dusk, and the island always did close "at dusk."

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  3. Oh, wow. I somehow skipped reading your last paragraph, entirely. I'm glad that I usually hang around after commenting, to take a second look at your pics.

    "Darth Vader's Fun Ship"......too funny! But before boarding, they encourage you to first go and buy a $250 light saber. That way you can have shipboard duels, and also shoot webs from it at the animals along the riverbank.....all equaling more "Fun." And for an extra $50, they'll even give you a Zinger®!

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  4. Pirates is either 101 or in Rehab...someone knows. I do see an employee there: hands on hips, and also a sweeper, sweeping. Pirates closing was no bueno in any iteration. On tours: the sub was Jungle Cruise...the line at that time being rather untenable. In City Hall it was: "you have RUINED my ENTIRE vacation". I was sometimes naughty and went over to the Haunted Mansion instead of Jungle, which was NOT the official sub, and later when I returned to the office my hand was slapped, and warning given. If there weren't any small kids on the tour, I thought "why not?"...a much better sub than Jungle. If the skipper on Jungle wasn't good, the ride fell flat...most times I did not want to risk it. In any case: looks like Pirates is closed and you have ruined my entire vacation. I would like a watercraft that is SHAPED like a Zinger. On board, you could buy the most extensive flavors of Zingers in the world, and fizzie drinks that tasted like Zingers. I think it would look better than a stale Darth Vader Ride, regardless of the teen in his Garanimals Darth Vader Pajamas/Costume. The photos are definitely at dusk and what a perfect time of day that is in ANY place on earth. I worked with a very theatrical "typical" older actress of the stage who always told me at that time of day (with a cocktail in her hand and in her New Orleans voice) "ahhhh....the time that separates day...from night"...but imagine a lot of hand gesturing, long pensive pauses, and quite a lot of make up...regardless of being on the stage or not. I am hard pressed for what building I prefer: the Plantation House, or ...this one? I absolutely do not like the bridge...and never have...and never will. It still confuses me and I think it causes more problems than solves them. From a stylistic/creative perspective: it is out of scale, is not in harmony with it's environment, and provides unsightly perspectives no matter where you are standing: whether or not you are standing on it, near it, or away from it. It was done in my time, and we could have done better. I am ashamed. The extended queue down the side of the treehouse was fine: double tier that..make it interactive like Indy. How about "just care".? Hmmm....I'm all worked up now: time to go chop wood. Oh: the Columbia: just awesome! Always. thanks for the Sunday pick me up Major!

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  5. Hey if you never spent a summer in a dodgy Darth Vader costume as a teen you don't know what you're missing. Honest!

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  6. Bu, I have never liked that bridge. It has always stuck out like a sore thumb, to me. It's the same with the building facades in Town Square, which replaced the Global Van Lines/Bekins building. Someone could have definitely done better on those facades and that bridge. You mentioned double tier-ing the POTC queue on the side, between the Treehouse and the POTC building. That is what the Japanese did at Tokyo Disneyland, two levels on that side, and it's indoors, too! They did a very nice job, as they do with most things. The Oriental Land Company is willing to pay money, in order for things to look right. Disney is not. Otherwise, we would not have ended up California Adventure.

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  7. @ Bu-
    In City Hall it was: "you have RUINED my ENTIRE vacation"
    Yes, sir, or madam - you've just experienced one of those hard facts of Walt's, that's even memorialized in bronze, right there in Town Square - all without an 'up charge'-! (And you're having a hissy fit. For shame).

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  8. JB, the use of AEDs was just too risky, hence the turtles. Of course the turtles had their own issues, since they could grow to several tons. I guess I didn’t do a very good job of cleaning the slides, I think that’s what the “silvery fish” is. Junk on the transparency. If these had been more exciting, I might have spent a bit more time on them!

    TokyoMagic!, oh interesting, I did not notice that “Pirates” was closed. What a bummer for the guests, many of whom I’m sure wanted to ride it! Hopefully it was only down for a short while.

    TokyoMagic!, I really don’t get why anybody would be willing to pay so much for those light sabers - basically a light up toy for grownups. Are they crafted from quality materials, such as aluminum and… I dunno, something else fancy?

    Bu, I wonder why taking guests to the Haunted Mansion was a no-no? That ride is a people eater, and as you have pointed out, the guests would probably be much happier to ride that if “Pirates” is down. Nothing personal, Jungle Cruise! Perhaps some enterprising person needs to bring back Zingers, and (as you suggested) make some “expensive” flavors. Oyster flavored! Yum! Oh man, having “theatrical” friends… I have one friend who is like a sister, but when she turns on the actor-y persona, I kind of recoil. It’s weird! She’s normally so nice. In restaurants she laughs really loudly so that everyone around us knows that she is living her best life. WHY? I’ve heard people say good things about the Pirates bridge, though I am not crazy about it. I guess it was just necessary when lines got long.

    Scott Lane, you’re right, I don’t know what I’m missing! ;-)

    TokyoMagic!, I agree, the former Global Van Lines building used to be so interesting; and they dumbed it down to make it as unnoticeable as possible. I assume there was a logical reason on their part, but I sure can’t imagine what it would be. Isn’t the queue for Pirates on more than one level in Florida as well?

    Nanook, I’m sure every guest will love to hear about Walt’s “hard facts” as they think about how much money they spent!

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  9. Major, I think the sails were at the cleaners that week. I always have mine well-pressed with medium starch, I don’t like the little wrinkles that accumulate when the sail is taken in or out.

    I’m wondering where the photographer stood to take these. I’m guessing on a keelboat since they are sort of following the Columbia around. Can’t be a canoe since you need both hands to paddle. I’m guessing that river craft were not permitted to overtake one another. I can just imagine the mess that could make.

    In photo 2, you can see the little floating keg that KS says is the inshore marker for the canoes.

    I’m always a little depressed by how the Columbia is used as a tacky prop in the abominable Fantasmic show. A beautiful well-researched theme attraction debased to a backdrop for an inane effects show. Remember in the Columbia spiel how they fire the cannon to warn off pirates? In the end, the pirates won, and ransack the ship for their evil purposes.

    Ok, I’ll be quiet now. Thanks Major, these are unusually nice for Sunday.

    JG

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  10. Major-
    "Are they crafted from quality materials, such as aluminum and… I dunno, something else fancy?"

    YES, actually... it's one of the first successful uses of both a 'brass magnet' and a 'board stretcher'-! Hey... "Nothing is too wonderful to be true if it be consistent with the laws of nature".

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  11. A friend of mine at Disneyland who has been there since the late 1990’s ( in a backstage support capacity ) told me there has been consideration of re-naming the MARK TWAIN RIVERBOAT. Some possible replacements tossed around : THE BELLE OF ORLEANS and MARDI GRAS QUEEN/BELLE, BAYOU BELLE.

    It doesn’t surprise me but pisses me off!

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  12. Anonymous12:51 PM

    Nothing better than standing above the guests as a CM holding the forward mast! KS

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  13. Major, I'm still going with it being a silvery fish. You can see its eye, mouth, gills, dorsal fin, and pectorals. It even appears to match the surrounding lighting. It doesn't have a tail though; probably lost it in a territorial dispute. Such is life, in the sea.

    Oh, I forgot to mention: Also in the 2nd photo, there is a huge alligator just behind the stern of the Columbia; its scales glistening in the setting sun.

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  14. Also forgot to mention that the huge alligator is walking on the shore, not in the water.

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  15. @ MIKE-
    ..."there has been consideration of re-naming the MARK TWAIN RIVERBOAT. Some possible replacements tossed around : THE BELLE OF ORLEANS and MARDI GRAS QUEEN/BELLE, BAYOU BELLE".
    Is the no such thing as 'tradition' left at Disneyland-? These times, we're several decades-away from the 'post-WWII think' of "out with old, in with the new" - and how that often produced horrendous results. Clearly, at Disneyland, it seems ANY CHANGE no matter how ill-advised earns Brownie points with [at least] the bean counters. Pity.

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  16. Columbia looking like a ghost ship. Ptreey scary, kids! Awoooo!

    I'm reminded of a birthday party I went to in junior high school. We were having a bonfire in the backyard when we started hearing a hissing noise. Then, someone in an extremely realistic Darth Vader costume came walking super slowly out of the woods, stood over us for a minute and then buggered off. I'd have been scared if I hadn't been so confused. Found out later it was the birthday girl's Dad Dads, eh?

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  17. Count Floyd lives! Although, he could use a spellcheck. ;-)

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  18. He was trying to announce the movie while eating a bagel.

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  19. Dean Finder7:33 PM

    Unfortunately, the desire to "make a name for yourself" is way more available than good sense or budgets to build something new. So we get a lot of change for change's sake, like attempts to rename the Mark Twain riverboat.

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  20. TokyoMagic!, I really don’t get why anybody would be willing to pay so much for those light sabers - basically a light up toy for grownups. Are they crafted from quality materials, such as aluminum and… I dunno, something else fancy?

    Maybe they have a real "cutting" laser that shoots out of them?

    As for WDW's POTC, I can't remember if the queue is two levels or not. I know it's all indoors, or at least under some kind of protection from the elements. I've been to WDW multiple times, but one of those times, POTC was closed. And let me tell you, it RUINED my vacation! ;-) But I have been on it multiple times, it's just that I have been to the Tokyo Disney parks more than WDW, so I tend to remember more details about those parks. It also helps that the Tokyo parks often have effects or other things in their attractions, that the U.S. versions of the same attraction don't have. Again, they spend so much more money on their parks. My comment about California was meant to be a jab, but it was also based on truth. Anaheim's second Disney park and Tokyo's second Disney park both opened the same year. We got a $600 million dollar park, and Tokyo got a $4 billion dollar park. The Oriental Land Co. was willing to spend that much, to get an incredible second park. Disney wasn't willing to spend that here, on their own park. CHEAP!

    Mike and Nanook, that is disturbing that they would change the name of the Mark Twain. I bet Irene Dunne will be turning over in her grave, not to mention Walt's ashes.....and his head. And yeah, what about tradition??? But it's been obvious for a long time now, that management doesn't care about tradition. I say, just call it Tiana's Tugboat, and be done with it! Go ahead and put that final nail in the coffin!

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  21. Oops, I meant to say, "My comment about California Adventure......" and not just "California." I'm happy with California, as a place!

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  22. "And yeah, what about tradition???"

    Without our traditions, our lives would be as shaky as a fiddler on a riverboat!

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