Sunday, March 17, 2019

Freakin' Swans!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

For some reason I keep winding up with photos of Disneyland's swans. Who knew that so many people were willing to use multiple, precious film frames for these birds? I've heard that they were fed raw meat to make them extra aggressive, but it might just be a rumor. I believe every rumor I hear, just in case.

All the swans are black in today's pix, and they sure look graceful and cool, but they also have poisonous spurs on the tips of their wings, with a toxin that will paralyze you. I think Admiral Joe Fowler had the bright idea to put these killers in Disneyland.


They look so peaceful, but that's how they get you to drop your guard. And then - KERSPLISH! I... I can't even describe what happens next (tears streaming down face).


This third photo is actually kind of pretty; it appears that he (she?) is not in the main moat of the Castle, but in one of the smaller tributaries. Maybe if we all took the time to know the swans, we could live together in peace and harmony.


11 comments:

  1. Those birds look delicious! Now I'm hungry for a SWANson's TV dinner.

    Seriously though, all three pics are really quite beautiful. One of the things I loved at Disneyland was observing the various birds in the park like the swans in the moat, the ducks and ducklings in the Rivers of America and the small sparrows eating bits of fries and foodstuff fallen to the ground at the Tomorrowland Terrace. Thanks, Major.

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  2. Oh yeah, Happy St. Patrick's Day to you too, Major and all the GDB readers.

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  3. @ Ken-

    Yeah, but how's about those other birds - that had something to do with a Tiki Room-??

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  4. Budblade3:33 AM

    As one that has memory’s of 6 year old me being chased by swans while trying to feed the ducks, I offer this warning.
    “Never trust a bird”

    Now I need a green beer to get over reliving that trauma.

    Happy St. Patrick’s day!

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  5. The look in the eye of that last swan makes him look evil. EEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL!!!

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  6. This reminds me of my favorite Admiral Joe Fowler quote, "You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have swans with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads!" (The bean counters wouldn't ok it...)

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  7. Major is right about swans, they can't be trusted. They are guardians of the mote, and will strike without warning. They are also shrewd negotiators and are paid more than most cast members. For training they are shown The Birds and Gangs of New York. This explains their craving for popcorn and Milk Duds. They have been known to chase grown men for up to a mile, and then poop on their shoes. Chilling. They are known to enjoy an occasional cocktail after work, and can be seen swimming upside down with just their feet and belly showing, much to the delight of the clean up crew. Thanks Major.

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  8. @Nanook-

    You mean talking and singing birds that don't poop. They scare me!

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  9. K. Martinez, you have blown my mind… maybe all those “fried chicken” TV dinners that I ate as a child were actually friend SWAN! You know what? It wasn’t bad. It’s funny that you mentioned the sparrows at the Tomorrowland Terrace, those birds definitely liked that part of the park for some reason.

    K. Martinez, I feel bad because I’m not wearing any green.

    Nanook, what is this “Tiki Room” you speak of?

    Budblade, I have never been chased by a swan, but I have been accosted by angry geese. I was just trying to give them some leftover tortilla chips, the jerks!

    TokyoMagic!, yeah, those red eyes are unsettling.

    stu29573, we can understand why Walt needed a man with Admiral Joe’s leadership abilities when we read that classic quote!

    Jonathan, I don’t trust any birds, to be honest. It’s those little shiny eyes. Like doll’s eyes! I remember hearing (on a podcast, I believe) about people sitting in Frontierland waiting for “Fantasmic!” to begin. Then the loud noises started, and the ducks on the river took to the air, flying over the crowd, spraying them with a fine mist of duck poop. BIRDS! Please join me in banning them from all public spaces.

    K. Martinez, non-pooping birds are an improvement. See my comment to Jonathan!

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  10. Anonymous9:32 AM

    After an experience similar to yours, Major, I believe Geese are possibly the most frightening animals on the planet.

    I loathe peacocks, and swans are not far behind, but they are picturesque and add a lot to the atmosphere of the Park.

    Trying hard NOT to imagine what the Tiki Room would be like if those birds did poop.

    JG

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  11. Late...and loving the view of not one but two bridges over the moat in the first image.

    Joe Fowler chose black swans based on his experiences in WWII. They were America's first Black Ops warriors.

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